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Caroline Calloway


Regular price $78.00 Sale price $130.00 Unit price per

For the girls who don't want their copy of Scammer to feel incomplete and lonely.

What a Luxury First Edition includes!

✍🏻 Hand-Signed

  • Each Luxury First Edition comes signed by me! It's not a print. It's not a stamp of my signature. I'm hand-signing each Luxury First Edition and, boy! WHAT A DUMB DECISION I MADE BY COMMITTING TO THIS PLAN! I don't have health insurance and I will absolutely be paying for carpal tunnel treatment out-of-pocket someday.

💯 Hand-Numbered

  • Every Luxury First Edition comes with a handwritten number indicating exactly where your book lies numerically in the printing! The sooner you order, the lower the number of your Luxury First Edition will be! (And therefore more valuable if your thot grand-daughters or gay great-grand-sons ever decide to sell your first editions of The Instagram Trilogy at auction someday...)

💌 Custom Thank You Note

  • "Thank you for being a goddamn patron of the arts!" is what all notes say. And Matisse and I really DO appreciate your patronage and patience and high tolerance for chaos!

🧚🏻‍♂️ Custom Packaging & Re-usable Stickers

  • While making The Instagram Trilogy, I tried to think a lot about what every little moment of experiencing this book would be like for you. What font should I use? Should the cover be glossy or matte? How will the packaging make you feel when the rest of The Instagram Trilogy finally arrives on your doorstep? How can I make the memory of receiving this as joyful as fucking possible? Enter: Custom mailers and re-usable stickers. My graphic designer did all the hard work of making sure that the plastics and adhesives we compatible and, blah blah blah science stuff and voilà! Throw the packaging away if you don't feel like saving it, or peel the stickers off to save for future use!

📍 Custom Bookmark

  • Don't like the sound of re-using stickers? I hear you. Life is hard enough without literally trying to preserve your trash. That's why my graphic designer, and I made a custom book mark that comes FREE with every Luxury First Edition! The concept of this custom bookmark is to visually evoke the The Instagram Trilogy packaging while providing you with a keepsake that takes zero effort to preserve.

🎀 Satin Ribbon

  • I hope to God you think of me when you wear this little bow in your hair. More importantly, I hope that when people say, "I like your bow!" You reply without missing a beat, "Thank you so much! Caroline Calloway actually gave it to me!"

📚 Custom Ex Libris Book-Plate

  •  Have you ever seen those Ex Libris book-plates in old, rare, possibly haunted books of yore? Ex Libris means "From the Library of" and I sincerely hope you feel like an aristocrat when you write your name down and claim these copies of The Instagram Trilogy as your own.


  • I'm such a little slut for end papers. And nothing says "old, rare, possibly haunted books of yore" like ITALIAN MARBLED END PAPERS!!!!!!!!
Books will ship in the order your order is received and this pre-order is for two books that are expected to be released in the Fall of 2024! The sooner you place your order, the sooner you will receive your book!